Cow saliva is beneficial. If you don’t believe me, just google “cow saliva” and learn how it can cure baldness. Truly.
But this post isn’t about cow saliva. I just thought this was as close as anyone would ever want to come to seeing a picture of spit. Because that’s what this is really about, the skill of spitting.
Nobody ever warns you about this before you move to the farm, but trust me, once you are living on a farm and working on it daily, you will acquire a new skill: Spitting. It’s a necessity, and an art. It requires lots of practice, but you don’t have to make time to perfect your art, life will take care of that for you.
You have a mouth, and it opens, often. There are all kinds of things flying around on the farm, in various forms. Things + open mouth = icky stuff you have to spit out. Just a few things that turn icky (if they weren’t icky on their own) when you get them in your mouth while working on the farm: dust, manure, water, watery manure, dusty manure, bugs, hair, feathers, sand, sandy manure. Get the picture? Ya gotta spit it out! Yuck!
The art of spitting involves a few things that come together to make the most complete and perfect act. You have to get it ALL out of your mouth, while not getting it on yourself. Sounds simple? It ain’t. Stand still and spit, see how it works for you. Now get on the tractor and drive, pulling the brush hog in a bumpy pasture, cutting weeds, and spit. Work on that until you can get it out in one spit, and not get it on yourself. Then do it until you can spit without it landing on the tractor. Ha.
Now get in the bobcat and move some haybales around, or scrape and pile manure. Again, work at it until you can get it OUT of the bobcat and not on yourself, all in one try.
The test of how well you have learned this skill can never be planned. It’ll happen when you least expect it, just working your normal day, and suddenly some MANURE will somehow land in your mouth. That will make you spit in a HURRY! Now, did ya get any on ya?
EWWWWWWWWWW!!! I’m trying to eat my breakfast over here! Sheesh! Seriously though, I spit for the first time in a long time yesterday. Alyssa and I had jogged around the block. I haven’t jogged in about 13 years and I nearly died. My mouth was so sticky that I just had to spit. Then I apologized to Alyssa. Hahahaha! No manure though . . .
By: onesmithday on October 30, 2011
at 6:42 am
I would die if I tried to jog! Walking is better for your joints.
As long as you don’t spit ON someone, apologies aren’t necessary, it’s in the rule book.
By: sugarstonefarm on October 30, 2011
at 12:23 pm
That’s so funny. A girl thing. I’ve been spittin’ for about 56 or 57 years. Comes naturally to rednecks like me.
By: the resident farmer on November 3, 2011
at 10:17 am
Guess being a country boy that’s one skill I’ve worked on my whole life. Just seems to come natural but you are correct…it is a necessary skill and farming will make you do it quick! LOL
By: Mike English on November 3, 2011
at 8:29 pm
I bet you’ve been spittin’ for longer than that!
By: sugarstonefarm on November 3, 2011
at 9:01 pm
I think you’re right Mike, if you start out as a youngster it would come natural. Hmm… Going to have to remember to make it part of the “young farmer in training” education program around here. Grandkids visit, they have to work on their spitting technique. No longer an elective.
By: sugarstonefarm on November 3, 2011
at 9:07 pm